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[Ich widerspreche hiermit der kommerziellen Nutzung meiner persönlichen Daten (Texte, Bilder, persönliche Daten) gemäß BDSG.]
Hello,
this is a submissive man in search of an alpha woman to relinquish power and control.
Initially this could be in form of casual/regular meetups with no strings attached, but if we gel, I hope it develops into a a female led relationship based on loving affection and sensual domination, possible even 24/7 TPE if our dynamic goes in that direction.
You'll be my leader and confidant, someone who loves me and cares about me, but also uses and abuses me for her amusement and convenience.
What you get is loyalty, obedience and devotion. My role can range from being a vanilla partner to devoted servant, slave and toy.
Submissive feelings towards women first emerged in my early childhood years. The desire to abase myself in front of a strong dominant woman hasn't left me ever since.
Ideally, you are naturally dominant and used to assume the leadership role without the need of reverting to an angry attitude or harsh discipline. Instead, you'll rule my mind and kindle my passion and desire to submit with a sensual approach. Occasionally, if necessary, you'll treat me like a protegee, teach, lead and help me, take me in your arms and console me when I am in emotional distress.
I hope this resonates with your notion of a female led relationship.
As a child, I regarded my female classmates as heavenly beings. They were classy, elegant and sophisticated, whereas the boys were brutish and inept. Out of this deep admiration grew a desire to submit and abase myself. I craved a form of loving humiliation and an attractive female classmate of mine became the protagonist in my vivid imaginations. She took charge of me, played with my mind, and humiliated me in front of her friends, only to console and caress me afterwards, while telling me how much she appreciated my devotion and passion to submit.
Unfortunately, over time, I never met the ideal woman to realize this power dynamic in form of a committed long term relationship. I came across talented, attractive, and incredibly bright women who had no kinky desires and no ambition to take charge of me. On the other hand, I also encountered women who were mean and calculating. But what I am looking for is someone with a strong dominant personality who effortlessly gets her way. She will take me under her wing and view me, first and foremost, as her beloved partner and protegee. However, when she feels like it, she will mess with my mind and play with my insecurities, use and abuse me physically and mentally. Afterwards she'll put me together again and help me back up, after pulling the rug from under my feet.
BDSM practices that appeal to me:
mental bondage
humiliation / degradation
watersports
body worship
biting (passive)
cbt (mild)
cunnilingus (all day long ...)
feet wothship
bondage (passive)
whipping/spanking (passiv) (mild)
ANR/breast worship
tease and denial
chastity
wearing blindfolds / cuffs / collars
molestation (passive) in day-to-day settings
Non-BDSM activities I do enjoy or am interested in:
technology
science fiction
geo-politics
gardening
cooking
baking
Fantasies
Recently I developed more extreme and dark desires.
I'll try to put some of them into words here.
Even though I hope to find a dominant companion and friend, a partner, sometimes I am overcome by imaginations of a kind of TPE dynamic whereby I rather assume the role of a pet (dog) or mere property, dehumanized, kept naked and in bondage most of the time, groveling and quivering on my knees at the feet of the "Gebieterin". Some of Ingrid Bellemare's writings do blend in, sprinkled with some hard-core BDSM imagery ... I see myself naked, vulnerable, blindfolded, in bondage, irrevocably subjected to a tome of lifetime molestation ...
Here are some Bellemare inspired fantasies.
Watersports
As a servant to the GEBIETERIN, I wake up early and prepare everything for HER, exactly the way she prefers it to be. I'll run the bath, lay out, and if necessary iron, the clothes she instructed me to fetch the night before, and when everything is ready I gently kiss HER feet ... If SHE is gracious and not in a rush, SHE allows me to assist HER in HER morning body care routine. Everytime this honor is bestowed upon me a feeling of tremendous joy and satisfaction imbues me. Giddy and almost trembling and shaking with excitement I bow down and kneel while she takes a hot shower. As the water pours over HER magnificent body the moist air saturates with a melange of HER fabulous scent and the fragrance of lotions tailor-made to suit HER unique style. I take deep breaths and let the redolency fill my lungs while keeling down and staring up to HER, behind the glass separation, much like a puppy at the frontdoor awaiting to return of its owner while the car is already backing into the garage. All of the sudden GEBIETERIN decides to indulge me with a treat, she opens the door and says: "Hop in boy, it's time to mark you!". Overcome with joy, I assume the proper position right before HER, on my knees, with my head bowed in prostration. SHE takes my head into HER hands and says: "You may look up!". Slowly I raise my head while HER grip around my skull tightens. My face is located directly below her vulva, giddy with excitement I long to just lunge forward and lose myself in the chasm between HER labia. But now SHE squeezes my cranium really hard and pushes me back, gives me a tap on my genitals with her right foot while keeping me firm in place with her powerful grip. With a strict and somewhat ominous tone SHE orders: "Sit, and keep calm, don't you dare to move!". Still hurting from pain emanating from my genitals and moving up into my abdominal region, I get a grip of myself and assume the proper position, looking up straight into HER heavenly realm. SHE says: "I want you to breath it all in, I want you to taste it, to smell it, I want it in your eyes, ears and lungs! Do you understand boy!?". I do not dare to utter a word and just give HER a slight nod. SHE slowly says: "Good!" while squeezing by head extra hard. Then it begins. HER holy fountain begins to pour the golden nectar down on me and I open up all my sensory organs, drinking it, breathing it in, letting it rain all over my head and torso, my lungs and eyes fill up with HER golden nectar ... HER grip grows tighter and tighter until SHE administers the last drop of HER hallowed juices. Then SHE violently pushes me away causing me to slip and fall on the tile floor of the ground-level shower. I am still dazed from HER powerful grip around my skull and the honor of allowing to take in her gilded liquor, but wince when SHE puts her left foot on my testicles and squeezes hard. With an imperious tone she commands: "You filthy disgusting animal! You are soaked with urine. Get yourself cleaned up and don't you dare to soil my premises!", while she drops a piece of soap on me. Still reeling and writhing from pain, I manage to get a hold of the slippery soap and immediately begin to rub it all over my body, while still lying on the ground. SHE yells: "Hurry up you dirty scraggy dog, life is too short to waste it on a hideous creature like you!". I scramble to finish up soaping my body and whisper: "Done, meine GEBIETERIN." Immediately a streak of ice-cold water rains down me. Although having gone through this procedure numerous times, the contrast between the hot, steamy ambiance and the freezing cold water still puts me almost into a state of shock and induces convulsions. After hosing me down SHE opens the glass door and says in a warm and more conciliatory tone: "You may go now. Fetch me the bathrobe, dear!". While still quivering and shivering from the cold shower I get up and do as I was told ... the thought of SHE calling me "dear" resonates in my brain and fills me with boundless joyousness ...
Domestic Service
... You come home and you find me naked, wearing just a chastity belt and a collar around my neck, on all fours sweeping the floor. Anticipating your arrival, I've already attached a leash on the collar and you immediately pull me up and scold me for not finishing my domestic duties on time. I humbly apologize, take your coat, and fix your favorite drink while you stretch out on the couch. After serving your drink, I cautiously remove your shoes and gently rub your feet. Suddenly, you fetch the leash and pull me close to you, caress my right cheek with your left hand and then grab my hair and pull my head backwards in a violent gesture, while your right hand gradually moves over my chest down to the abdominal region and then takes a firm grip on my testicles. While squeezing my balls and firmly holding by head in place you will kiss me on my right cheek and ear and then bite my earlobe and whisper : "Now honey, what have you prepared for dinner?" I hoarsely answer : "Madam, as appetizer I've prepared pumpkin soup and the entree is salmon risotto. The dessert will be mango and strawberry sorbet with crushed nuts." You let go of my testicles and say : "Good boy, now hurry I am hungry!" I rush to the kitchen and make the final preparations while you go to the bathroom to freshen up. When you pass the kitchen on your way back to the living room you tell me: "Tonight, I want company my dear, get dressed before serving dinner." I rush to the bath and take a quick shower and get dressed. I serve the courses in the professional manner of a waiter and we temporarily abandon our D/s dynamic and converse like a normal vanilla pair. After serving dessert you simile and say: "Darling, be a gem and bring me an espresso, and clean up the table, we'll going to need it later. And honey, please get rid of those clothes." While you stretch out on the couch enjoying your espresso and reading the newspaper, I clean the table and wash the dishes. When I come back I am naked again. You've taken a crop out of the closet and you grab the leash, yank me around, then pull me down and say: "I'll have to finish this article my dear, please comfort me in the meantime." I gently remove your panties from under your skirt and start caressing your labia and clitoral region with my tongue. Every time you come close to an orgasm you start spanking my back with the crop prompting me to intensify stimulation. After multiple orgasms you pull on the leash and indicate me to stop. After catching your breath you say: "Dear boy, now it's your turn. Get on the table." Minutes later I find myself in tight bondage on the dinner table. You are hovering above me, intermittently caressing and scratching my body at various places. You kiss me on the lips repeatedly and every time you finish the kiss with a bite, until my entire mouth is bloody and filled with the characteristic metallic taste and smell. You gradually work your way down to my genitals and finally remove your necklace in order to use the key, that is attached to it, to unlock my chastity belt. I, being helpless in tight bondage, can only raise my head and quiver in blissful anticipation. It has been several weeks now that I wasn't allowed any relief, and the chastity device was only removed for hygienic reasons. You laugh at my reaction and whisper: "If you blemish the dinner table, my dear, I will never grant you any release again!" , while squeezing and twisting my ball sack. The sudden pressure on my testicles makes me bang my head on the dinner table and my body begins to shiver while my penis is painfully pressing against the metal of the chastity belt. You unlock me and I immediately have a hard erection. While you keep twisting, squeezing and pulling on my genitals, I do my best to postpone and hopefully avoid ejaculation, waiting for you to change your mind and ultimately allow me release. But when I come close to the point of no return and you still haven't given me permission, I cry: "Please Madam, I can't hold it back anymore." You let go of my testicles and laugh: "Well boy, I guess we are done for tonight." ...
S/m
... On a different occasion you might want to play a little harder and start off by using the leash to yank me around while spanking me with the crop. It begins as a slow dance and gradually develops into a frenzy, until both of us sink down on the couch, exhausted and grasping for air. You take me into your arms and caress my sore skin, telling me how proud you are of me for taking the the beating, while I am still dizzy and my body is trembling. After a while, I catch my breath and calm down. Our bodies are tightly intertwined, my head leans against your breasts while you gently continue to caress my back. We both can sense each other's heart beat gradually normalize and then after a while of solemn silence I slowly sink to your feet and carefully remove your shoes and start worshiping your feet. I gradually work my way up and enjoy the salty taste of sweat on your skin. ... Later you might take me hard with a strap-on or a feeldoe while I am in the doggy position, located in front of a mirror, and you keep pulling on the leash to keep my head up. ...
Fear
Even though consensual SM practices can be very pleasurable and, if the performers are imaginative, can indeed hold an endless stream of sensations, variations, and surprises, they normally are devoid of the primal emotion of genuine fear and fright. Widened pupils, accelerated heartbeat, cold sweat, pumping adrenaline, tensed muscles, and the genuine facial expression of horror and awe of the bottom paired with the veritable sensation of bone fide power of the dominant are usually missing. Comparing a run of the mill consensual SM session to a situation in which the submissive is truly helpless and subjected to the whims of a ruthless sadist, is like comparing kayfabe to MMA.
The question is whether it is possible to introduce aspects of "consensual non-consent" into a relationship and thus establish power-dynamics that could otherwise not be achieved. Not knowing how far my dominant partner will go, what she will demand of me, how much she will let me suffer, is a very powerful tool to enforce compliance and introduce the aspect of genuine fear into the relationship. Serious abuse complemented by loving tenderness keep the submissive on a constant emotional roller coaster ride and imbue the dominant with a genuine sense of power. The power to punish and destroy vs. the power to exert clemency and build up.
Even though I do not seek to engage in extreme practices which incur serious bodily harm, I do long for said roller-coaster ride. In order to feel the relief and levity once she takes me to her bosom and caresses my still shaking and trembling body, whispering terms of endearment into my ear and gently stroking both the emotional and physical scars, it is necessary to go through a state of extreme discomfort and apprehension. My idea of establishing this power-dynamic is to establish the aspect of "consensual non-consent" throughout our relationship. Meaning I will be always at your mercy, all the time, knowing that you will only make use of your power sparsely and with the intention of keeping our special bond alive. This could manifest itself in SM practices that are mild, sensual and pleasurable for both of us nine times out of ten, but ever now and then you will go right to the limit and beyond. Imagine we establish a common habit of tying me up and playfully teasing me, and exerting a little pain through a variety of methods. Usually I end up a little bruised and disheveled, panting, with bite marks and welts covering my body, we end up hugging and cuddling or I might be at your feet thanking and worshiping you. But sometimes when you feel extra cruel and think it is time to teach me a lesson, our interaction will take a dark turn.
For instance, I might be tied to a chair, gagged and blindfolded, but after teasing me by running down ostrich-feathers over my body and dripping hot wax on my genitals you suddenly smack me in the face so violently that me ears begin the ring and I almost lose consciousness, next you bury the heel of your stiletto in my foot and I begin to convulse and tremble, with all my muscles constricted I try my best to get out of the chair, which is firmly attached to the ground ... you let me struggle for a while then lean forward and whisper into my ear how much you love me while gently stroking my genitals and I clam down, not knowing where this is supposed to go and how far you will take me this time. Your sweet lovely scent, the anodyne voice of your whispers, the feel of your hair greasing my body do give me a sense of security for a moment, I stop panting and my body relaxes again. At this point our interaction might just go on like this, tender and loving, but this time around you have the desire for a little extra bit of violence. While the fingernails of you left hand run over my erect penis you lean forward and bit my left ear. First it's a tender embrace of your teeth, but it quickly evolves into an excruciatingly painful sensation, so much so that I genuinely fear that you are about to bite off a part. While I once more begin to shake and revolt against the cuffs that keep my hands and feet firmly attached to the chair you grab my balls with your left hand and begin to pull violently. Simultaneously you grip my throat with your right and start to choke me. Instead of releasing your bite it even grows firmer until the pain reaches a crescendo and you all of sudden let go. At this point I am almost in a state of shock convulsing and violently shaking my head while trying to scream through the ball-gag. It's been months since I was tortured like this and now I know that you will go all the way this time, cold sweat sets in, I wish I was strong enough to break free from bondage and run away. After a few minutes of intense struggle I run out of steam and resign, you are standing behind me now and laying your hands on my abdomen and slowing running them over my chest while scratching my torso with your fingernails. You kiss my bald head and remove the blindfold, lean forward and whisper "I have a nice little present for you my Darling." From above my head you slowly lower one pair of pliers, the kind carpenters do use to remove nails. You dangle the pliers in front of my face and ask: "So, Sweetheart what can we do with these, any suggestions?". I try to utter a few words begging for mercy, but all the ball gag lets out is a muffled groan and you reply: "What did you say, you have to speak up Darling! Did I hear correctly removing your front teeth?". I start to struggle again and begin to shake my head, but you grip my head from behind pressing the pair of pliers against my left cheek and the bruised ear, and whisper to my right: "Don't be silly my Dear, I had to remove the ball-gag and all the neighbors would know! No there are plenty of other body parts that deserve maintenance! Let us see what requires the most attention! How about this bruised ear of yours?" You open the pliers and grip my left ear lobe. While intermittently tightening and releasing the grip you whisper: "You know it looks pretty damaged and needs replacement! What say you, my Sugar Plum? ... What was that did I hear "YES"!", at that moment you let go of my ear lobe and use the pliers to mildly beat me over the back of my head and loudly say: "That's "YES Ma'am" to you, you good for nothing piece of horse manure! Next time I'll beat you into a coma with this thing. Is that understood?", I nod my head without uttering a sound and you whisper again: "Very good baby-love, I knew you'd behave! I also know that you understand that it is necessary. You know it must be done, for that is the way. I want you to be quiet from now on, do not resist, do not struggle, if you do it will all get worse, much much worse for you ... So my precious, I want you to nod one last time to signal your consent, not that you really have a choice, but you know how important this is for me!" I slowly rock my head back and forth and resign to my faith and you say: "Good boy, very obedient, I knew there was hope for you !", you come over to the other side and gently kiss my forehead, You look me deep in the eyes, I am in a state of despair, you can see sorrow and fear in my eyes, tears are forming and slowly descending down my cheeks. You lean forward and whisper: "Oh come come Darling, it's going to be alright, no need for tears! ... At least not now, better safe them for later, when you really need them!" You run your tongue over my left cheek and stop over my eye as if you were feeding off my tears. After a while you let go of me and position candles all around the chair and in special indentations on the backrest and the armrests of the chair. Once you lit the candles you turn on meditative music and turn off the lights. You lean forward, exert pressure on my genitals with your left knee and whisper into my ear: "I will remove the gag now, if you scream, it'll be your tongue! Is that understood my little cuddle bear?", I slowly nod while being eerily relaxed under the influence of the music and candle-light, I still have hope that everything will turn out fine and I will get out of this relatively unscathed. You return a beaming smile and slowly remove the ball-gag, you carefully sit on my lap in order not to blow out the candles. With your legs stretched out under the armrests, you hang the pliers on the backrest and begin to gently hug and kiss me, while stoking my erect penis. 10, 20, 30 minutes go by, the soothing and relaxing music, the candle-light and your tender embrace do teleport me into a state of complete bliss. After half an hour of teasing me you begin to gradually step up the pace and finally bring me to climax.
Panting and still shaking from orgasm I fail to realize what happens next, I only feel an odd sensation in my left toe, followed by excruciating pain. While I was rejoicing in the throes of orgasm you hand pulled out my left toe-nail with the pliers, and immediately when I started to scream stuffed a cloth into my mouth. I begin to tremble and convulse again, violently shaking my head, while you calmly blow out the candles and leave the room and lock the door, while leaving the music running ...
- 1 posts
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- Male
- 01/01/80
- Living in Germany
- Located in Germany
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